5 Ways I Get Through a Scolding

Getting scolded or advised by your dad or any other elder can be a real bore. Most of us don’t want to listen to what they say and this leads them to frequently ask the question: “Are you listening?” or the command “Listen to me!”, thus elongating the unwanted conversation.

There are ways to cut the dialogue short, or even to defend yourself, that have been used by past and present generations without fail.

 I don’t know about you, but for me and many Nigerians, we take care of the problem of long talk by the following methods:

1.     Head Nod: This shows them that you understand what they are saying. It also makes you look more mature and responsible. For some reason, nodding your head while being scolded is also a sign of respect.

2.     Sentence Completion Method: When your father is thinking of a word to use, or he’s stuttering, suggest the perfect word for him. This will show him that you’re listening. Repeating the last word or phrase of the sentence shows them that you indeed are aware of your flop, and that it was merely a result of forgetfulness. 

 E.g.,

Mum: “Abel, I have told you times without number, to always –“

Me: “wash my plate after use.”

Another example:

Dad: “Your act of insolence is in, in, in-“

Me: “-admissable”

Dad: “Yes, inadmissible!”

3.     Question Follows Question (QFQ) Method: This seems to only work for the old people. When an elder says something clear and unequivocal, ask him a question meant to verify. This is usually employed whenever you need time to think of a good defense for your flop; it’s basically stalling. Here is an example of this:

Grandpa: I told you to be early, and now you are late.

Me: I’m late? [checks watch]

Grandpa: What were you doing?

Me: What was I doing?

Grandpa: Yes, what were you doing?

However, ensure that you don’t use this more than thrice in a conversation, because the elder might get annoyed.

4.     Look Down; Look Front (LDLF) Method: This is used to show shame for your act. Looking down means you can’t bear the shame; looking at the scolder at intervals signifies a bold step taken towards taking up responsibility for the wrongful act.

Ensure that both actions (look down; look front) are balanced. Constantly looking down tells the scolder that you haven’t the courage and maturity to stand up to your wrongdoing. Constantly looking at the scolder tells them that you show no shame for the act. Therefore, there is a crucial need to keep shame and confidence balanced.

5.     After-scold Seclusion (ASS) method: The ASS is the method I most frequently use to show my parents that I’m indeed sorry for my flop.

The method only involves staying in your room for the rest of the day, following a scold. Your parents think that you’re truly remorseful, and you've isolated yourself in order to think about what you've done, and perhaps cry … meanwhile, you’re playing Xbox, while eating Doritos and chatting with a friend online.