A Grown Man Gets Scared

Note: Because I don't use swear words, I used proper English words instead...it's kind of funnier.

In my home, it's my duty to see that at night, all entrances are securely locked, and all lights are turned off.
And NO, I do not live in a hut, or a mud house.

Last night at around 11 pm, I was going through the same routine amidst the loud utterances caused by the winds hitting against the windows to create sepulchral melodious noises that scared the faeces out of me. Each room I went to, I would hear the pound of the wind upon the windows. Yes I was a little scared, but my task had to be carried out.
I entered the living-room and as I turned off the lights, I turned on my flashlight and waved it about (to see if there was a killer lurking in the darkness...horror movies have a great effect upon my life).

Just when I was approaching the door that leads to the balcony, it was swung open to let in the violent night wind.You should have seen my face! I'm pretty sure I urinated my pants (Just kidding...or am I?).
Though it was only the wind, many things raced through my mind at that moment.
"So this is how it ends" I thought, "No! I shall not be intimidated by whatever pushed this door open! THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!"

I did the opposite of what King Leonidas did; I didn't push the door, I instead ran away to my bedroom. 
The way I ran was the way victims in horror films run. I fell twice, but scampered back up.

I spent some minutes laughing my buttocks out at what had just happened, and then I ran upstairs to lock the open door.

Last night was one hell of a night ...

The Evil One: An Evil Junior Student in my High School

Today, I stayed in bed thinking of an incident that took place in my high school a couple of years ago.

Twas a lovely morn, in the year 2011. At that time, I was in SS3 (Ultimate senior).
I and my classmates were in the hostel when an SS1 boy was ushered in by our hostel master (who was a teacher). He explained to us that the boy was to spend some time in our hostel until his punishment was decided. We asked what the innocent-looking young boy did to deserve such cruel fate.

*Juniors feared entering SS3 hostel because of it was infested with errand-sending maniacs who always had clothes to be laundered by juniors. But this was insane! A junior staying in our hostel meant death for him.*

The teacher replied with a tale of what went on the previous night. This is a really creepy story people, so grab your glass of warm milk...if you've done that, here's what got the kid in trouble:

Previous Night (Approximately 10 pm)
An SS1 kid was asleep in the SS1 hostel. As he was unconscious, his fellow classmate (I'll use the moniker 'Evil One') walked up to his bed and brought out a tube of superglue from his pocket. The Evil One squeezed some of the liquid glue onto the sleeping beauty's eyelids, ergo making the eyes unable to open. 
The next morning, a loud yell was heard in the hostel and at the ends of the earth. The victim frantically threw himself around whilst attempting to open his bound eyes. At first, people thought he had been possessed by an evil spirit. But eventually, he calmed down and was checked by his classmates. They discovered that the eyes had an adhesive on them; the tube which they found close to his bed. "Who could have carried out this dangerous prank on someone?"  Was the question everyone was asking. Suddenly, the Evil One stepped in the middle of the crowd and unflappably narrated how he smeared glue on his classmate's eyes the previous night. When asked why he did it, he said he had no reason; he just 'felt' like doing it. 
People were shocked at the Evil One's revelation. But no one was surprised. The Evil One had a history of strange and bizarre behaviour which everyone was aware of. 
The incident was reported to the school authorities, and in twenty minutes, the story permeated through the school through the grapevine. 

Okay, it wasn't as scary as I made it out to be, but it sure is creepy. The scariest thing is that the boy showed no remorse for his action. His face showed no emotions at all.
Most serial killers started out with small putrid actions such as the one carried out by the Evil One. I met the kid; he was like those little kids in horror movies that kill their pets, decapitate their dolls, speak to dead people, while having that dead, pale, and unemotional facial expression everyone loathes.

Moving on...After the narration of the hostel master, I thought, "What if the kid anticipates expulsion, and then tries to do something else before leaving the school?"
I know I was just freaking out, but it was a logical theory. Who knew what else he was capable of doing? He could glue someone's genitals to the bed.

That night, I lay in bed and made sure my genitals were protected by wearing several trousers. I also ensured that my mosquito net was tightly tucked to serve as a shield. It was logical that he would turn to the next person if my net wouldn't budge.
Nothing happened that night though.

The next day, I discovered that the kid deliberately left his locker door ajar; this left his provisions flashing at passers-by. Normally, that was an opportunity for thieves to grab. Yet, no one touched his stuff. No one DARED touch his stuff. It wasn't as if we, as seniors, feared him...Who am I kidding? We did fear him.

Soon, the decision of the school authorities was announced. The kid was expelled, on the grounds of being 'possessed'.
Finally! I could sleep comfortably again, without placing a metal plate inside my pants.

The High School I Attended and its Disciplinary Measures

Many Nigerian High schools have military standard rules and disciplinary measures. Punishments such as whipping and physical labor are not uncommon in the country.. Although the number of schools, which have whipping as a means of chastisement, is diminishing rapidly, There are still a few that accept this mode of punishment.

The High school I attended was among the whip-allowed schools. It was a boarding school with teachers of both gruesome and pleasant nature.
Go to class late, you get flogged; leave the hostel late, you  get flogged; go to the cafeteria late, you get flogged; go to church late, you get flogged; lose your necktie, you get flogged (Although it was a private school, we wore uniforms).

Both students and teachers are allowed to whip. Junior students can be whipped by senior students. Junior students and senior students can be whipped by teachers. Teachers can be whipped by the principal. I was just kidding about the last one.
Here is the daily routine observed by me as a junior student:

4am Wake up, fetch water from the reservoir, and take a bath. The means by which we were awoken was very simple. The Hostel prefect (a senior) wakes up first and begins a countdown from 10 to 1. At the end of this, he goes on a whipping spree and flog anyone that's still asleep in the hostel. Till today, I do not know how a person counting from a mile away can wake me up.

5am Sweep the hostel, mop the hostel, clean the bathroom, or sweep the surroundings; depending on what was allocated to me by the hostel prefect. Every hostel inhabitant participates in the daily cleaning of the hostel. Anyone who absconds from work, shall be whipped.

7am Walk to class. Anyone who hides in hostel at this time shall be whipped.

8:30 am School assembly. At this time, every student and teacher gather at the assembly ground to llisten or give announcements. Students stand in lines according to their levels in class (Jss1, Jss2, Jss3, SS1, SS2, SS3). When the teachers finish making their announcements, the seniors take over to whip every student found without a necktie, incorrect school socks, uncut hair, colored shoes...and the list goes on.

1:30pm b. We would return to the hostels and change our clothes.

2pm Compulsory siesta. Everyone is expected to be asleep at this time. Anyone found on the floor, instead of on their bed, shall be whipped. Anyone found on their bed, but not asleep, shall be whipped. Anyone found asleep, but still in uniform, shall be whipped.

3pm Prep time. I still don't know the meaning of 'prep'. I haven't found it in the dictionary. But in school, this was another teaching period. We would go to class again and be taught by teachers. However, the time it took was less than the main class time. By the way, anyone not found in class shall be whipped.

4:30 Sports time. At this time, you could choose to go play football, basketball, lawn tennis, table tennis, or volleyball; or, you could choose to stay in hostel and wash your clothes. If you're found washing inside the hostel, you shall be whipped.

6:00 pm Dining time. Everyone is supposed to be in the dining hall at this time. As you'd expect, anyone that is not found in the dining hall shall be whipped.

7:00 pm Prep time, AGAIN. Another time for reading in class. However, no teacher comes to teach; you have to read alone. Anyone not present at class shall be whipped. Anyone found at class but talking, shall be whipped. Anyone staying quiet, but not reading, shall be whipped. Anyone who falls asleep shall be whipped. Anyone who steps out of the class shall be whipped.

9:00 Prep over. After 2 hours of pretending to read and holding yourself from sleeping, you could now go to the hostel to sleep...or not yet. People have to press their clothes during this free time. The ironing spot gets flooded with students. 90% of juniors don't get to press their clothes because seniors would push them away for them to press theirs.

10pm Sleep time. Anyone found outside the hostels at this time shall be whipped. Anyone found standing in the hostel shall be flogged, anyone found on their beds, but not asleep...you know the rest.

This was my daily routine for 5 years. Through that time, I watched many people leave the school, while others come in. I guess the ones who left could not bear the physical and psychological toll they faced. Were they weak? No, they weren't. I believe they merely failed to visualize themselves at the finish line.
But I didn't leave; instead I stood strong and made it through.

I remember how I and my classmates used to play the game 'First to flinch at the lashes of the whip loses'. Whenever there was a general flogging, we would play this game to determine the strongest person. It sounds weird but it was really fun. I believe it was our crazy way of dealing with the psychological effects of the flogging. It was a mere tool constructed to take our minds off the hurt. It was a very effective tool at that.

I know that the disciplinary measures should be criticized. But how can I criticize something that I benefited from? Something that shaped me into the strong person that I am now. I'm aware f the disadvantages it had, but people never seem to look at the advantages it had.

I have observed that since I graduated from that school, I have never given up on anything.
The school did not only mold me intellectually, it did physically. As a result of the physical labor I went through, I had been passively working out. I thank God because now, I don't have to work out to get well-built; I got them without trying to.

If it weren't for the coercion to learn, I'm sure that I would not be intellectually sound today. I know that I was very lazy to learn back then. If I had attended a school with lenient means of admonishment, I would not have made it this far in life.
My High school,l with its harsh admonishments for idlers, made me read and learn even if I didn't want to. The teachers' pedagogy made me study in excess of what I needed to study. This is why till today, I have a strong predilection of studying everything that crosses my attention.

The High school I attended might be criticized for its 'inhuman' policies and standards. However, I can say that most students that graduated from the school are thankful for the experiences they acquired from it. I am one of such people.

                                                DISCLAIMER: THE BUTT BELOW ISN'T MINE...JUST SAYING

7-Day Solitude Exercise: Day One

This is my account of what I'm experiencing during the 7-Day solitary exercise which I'm carrying out in my room. It may be a bit dramatic though.
 
Saturday 19th January 2013

I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I never knew it would be this difficult!
This is my first day I've spent in solitary confinement. I have been given neither food nor water.

The sight of this cell increases my hunger. I'ts grimy walls, embellished with writings and drawings - which I must say were done by very artistic criminals - are an intolerable sight.
I am not the only creature in this cell. There are about six, eight, twelve, eighteen, other beings with me. The difference between me and them is that I'm human, and they're not.

Oh how these mosquitoes annoy me! Sucking my blood anytime they get thirsty! Like I'm their food storage.
The sound they make with their flapping wings is their most annoying feature. Yes! I killed one! This one sucked a lot of blood from me. It though it could just get away with it right?
As aggravating as these creatures are, it would be nice to be one of them. Being tiny enough to fly through the keyhole of the door. Perhaps I could even fly off to the Chief warden's office and suck his blood. I would aim for his neck. It would be nice to see him scratch his neck repeatedly.

These pesky little rats! They're everywhere! The little creatures scuttle around like it's their hood or something. I can hear their little squeaks of laughter. Calling me names...mocking me. What the?! One just called me a sissy!
They may be little, but they have their freedom. I watch them crawling out of the cell through the small space under the door.
I wish I were as tiny as these things; I could walk in and out just like they do.

Sometimes, I hear footsteps behind the door, in the hallway, warders passing; inspecting the closure of every cell door. i like to hear the people walking outside the cell; it reminds me that I'm still alive.
I wish I were a warder. Oh what power he possesses. He has the power to unlock the door and set me free. I would set myself free if I were a warder.
 
I told you it may be a bit dramatic...okay, very dramatic...and exaggerated.

---

One Week Break From Soceity (including the internet)

 

Okay, this sounds crazy, but it's a necessary action. I started writing my book last month. Since then, I've only been at 5000 words.
I blame it on the internet because, well, the internet's the only thing to blame.

This seven-day solitary confinement (in my room) means:
1. I shall not answer my phone calls (unless they're from my parents);

2. I shall neither send nor reply text messages (unless they're from my parents);

3. I shall not chat online (even if my parents send messages);

4. I shall stay in my room, never to come out unless I need to eat or answer my parents' summon;

5. I shall type not less than 2000 words per day - making 14,000 words at the end of this exercise;

6. I shall only use the internet to post on my blogs which need regular updating;

These are the 6 commandments of solitary confinement, which will guide my journey to finishing my book in time.

If I survive this, I want you all to know that I appreciate you reading my blog. Thank you for the support and the encouragement.
And please make sure you read my latest comical short story titled 'Snake in the Pot'

About Me

I'm an 18 year old Economics and Management first year student of Monash University of south Africa. When I first arrived at the university, Economics was my sole target. However, when I heard about the double major programme, I took up Management as my second major. Now I'm beginning to love Management more than I love Economics.
 
I love to write and read. I read just about anything (from novels to science articles) that interests me. I'm particularly interested in the paranormal and weird things in general. I love reading about unusual and awkward true stories.
For example:
                                    
                           Bra for the boys an online bestseller in Japan

Who said bras are only for women? A Japanese online lingerie retailer is selling bras for cross-dressing men and they've quickly become one of its most popular items.
Since launching two weeks ago on Rakuten, a major Japanese web shopping mall, the Wishroom shop has sold over 300 men's bras for 2,800 yen ($30) each. The shop also stocks men's panties, as well as lingerie for women.
 "I like this tight feeling. It feels good," Wishroom representative Masayuki Tsuchiya told Reuters as he modeled the bra, which can be worn discreetly under men's clothing.
Wishroom Executive Director Akiko Okunomiya said she was surprised at the number of men who were looking for their inner woman.
"I think more and more men are becoming interested in bras. Since we launched the men's bra, we've been getting feedback from customers saying 'wow, we'd been waiting for this for such a long time'," she said.
Source: weirdnews

I currently manage four blogs which differ greatly in content. I'm also working on a sci-fi supernatural novel titled 'Psychics' (for now). You can check out the prologue of the novel here: Working on a Novel. 
The book's about a group of people with different abilities who have a common ability to perceive and interact with the supernatural realm. I'm trying as much as possible to make this book as 'scientifically supernatural' as possible. The story will appeal to both science fans and supernatural fans. For instance, I explain in scientific detail how it's possible for humans to see the realm of the supernatural. 
I've also sculptured each character to be unique and have their own storyline and conflict. This is the first book I've ever been serious about. 

Many people say I act a lot older than my age. I dress and speak differently from my peers. I guess it's because my idea of cool is Sherlock Holmes. Even my mum has complained about this.
One time I approached my mum to request for some money.

"Mum, please may I  procure some money in order to-"

"My friend!" This is Nigerian for 'What the hell!"

"Stop speaking like you're from 21st century England!"


However, people get surprised and even shocked whenever I step on the dance floor. Seriously, I love dancing and showing off my dance moves. I'm a very good dancer...or so they say. For all those guys that want to get the ladies at clubs, learn to dance uniquely. Trust me, it works for me.

I don't know how to play any musical instrument. I only play the drum a little. But I'd love to learn the guitar and the piano. The piano has always looked so hard because of its many keys. There was a time when I actually thought people who sing and play the piano simultaneously are aliens or some creature with two brains. I want to learn the saxophone because I think it's pretty romantic and would be a great instrument to play to my girlfriend.
The sort of music I listen to are the sort of music most teenagers DO NOT listen to. I like jazz, soul, R & B, some pop and hip hop. I also listen to some old school music.
My favourite artists are The Dream, Robin Thicke, Maxwell, Frank Ocean, Andre 3000, Ludacris, Alicia Keys, Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown, Pharell, Busta Rhymes, Missy Elliot and David Guetta.

I love dogs...or rather, harmless looking dogs. I'm really afraid of big dogs. Heck everyone is.
As for cats, I hate them with all my heart. I've always been afraid of cats since I was a kid. I guess it's mainly because of a story that my maid told me when I was six.
She said she was using the toilet one night when there was no electricity in the house; so the bathroom was dark. She looked up and saw a cat standing still on the window ledge. She told me she yelled 'Jesus!' and the cat ran away, or vanished (can't really remember).
Most Nigerian cultures have superstitions of cats being witches' pets and all that. That's why I've always suspected every cat to be evil. 

I like to stay mysterious. A lot of people find me interesting because of this. I also like to take occasional breaks of solitude from everyone. For about 2 weeks, I don't call or visit anyone. Although it's a bad habit, I love the period of incommunicado; it's relaxing.

Thank you for reading this post, and the blog itself. Please subscribe or follow me on google+ if you can.
Cheers!

My Tribe

I come from a tribe called 'bajju' or 'jju'. There are many villages that are under this tribe. The village I belong to is named 'Zonkwa'.It's located in the southern region of Kaduna state, Nigeria. Read more about this tribe at: http://diaryofanafricanteen.blogspot.com/2013/05/all-about-my-tribe-origin-superstition_12.html

When I say 'village', people tend to think of huts, public rivers for bathing and drinking water, naked children running around and looking like aliens. This is not so in Zonkwa. There are tarred roads, modern buildings, pipe borne water and electricity available for the villagers. Although there are still some uncivilized naked running people roaming around in the forests.

I don't really know how to speak my language because in my home we speak only English. I only know some basic stuff in jju such as 'come', 'go', 'eat', 'get the hell out' etc. 

We once lived in an apartment building owned by the company my mum works for. The apartment on the ground floor belonged to an annoying woman who always spoke jju to me anytime we met. I always tried to avoid her whenever I was on my way out of the building, but she always seemed to know when I was be passing by. She'd burst out of her apartment the moment I'm about to reach the exit.

"Baranzan!" Baranzan is my tribal name. She always called me by this name.

"Anake?" This means where are you going?

She always did that! Always asking me where I was going to, like the information was of the highest importance.

I never understood the rest of what she was saying, I just used common sense to know what the question was about, and then reply in English. 

Currently, the people of my tribe no longer worship idols and make animal sacrifices like they did years ago. The place is now a Christian ground. 

But in the days before the missionaries, many superstitions existed that seem crazy now. For example, it was a law that a pregnant woman cannot eat eggs. If she ate them, she would be eating her baby and it would die.

There was also something about not leaning against the wall with your back. But I've forgotten what that signifies.

In those days, there was also a strong belief of having animal bodies. It was believed that everyone had an animal attached to them and that at their will, they could transfer their soul to the animal and control it's physical body. 

I'll make sure I do my research extensively and then post a full list of the crazy superstitions that existed within my tribe years before the missionaries arrived.